Rating: :D :D :D :D :D (perfect 5 grins)
- Uploaded by: dgs2703
This is the seventh episode of Kamiya Hiroshi (神谷浩史) and Ono Daisuke’s (小野大輔) radio show Dear Girl ~Stories~. Another favourite episode of mine. This is just hilarious. Both hosts seem to be in seiyuu mode right away, especially Kamiya-san who uses his “cool voice” instead of his usual cutesy voice. Though it’s sometimes hard to hear him clearly because he sounds like he’s whispering. They also talk about Pastel Desserts which, OnoD claims, Kamiya-san is crazy about. Anyway, let’s get to the fun stuff. Here is a rough translation of my favourite part (space between lines means dialogue that I’ve skipped translating):
Listener’s Letter: Kamiya-san, D-san, good evening.
Kamiya & Ono: (laughs)
Ono: (D-san?) You’ve typed my name too fast!
Listener’s Letter: Lately, my father is stinky. He smells like garlic, sake, like an old man. How can I make him smell good again?
Kamiya: Uwaaaah. She’s 14-years old.
Kamiya: If I’m the father of a 14-year old daughter who told me that I stink, I’ll be shocked.
Ono: This is harsh, isn’t it? I’m questioning this a bit, not that I have a daughter. . .
Kamiya: If I’m a father who is told that I stink. . .I’ll cry.
Kamiya: I can just imagine what kind of shock a father feels to be told that he stinks.
Ono: Yeah. . .
Kamiya: Unfortunately, since I’m not a papa, I can’t imagine how it feels to be one. How a father feels for his child, not that I have a daughter, but of course, it should be of how cute my child is.
Ono: That’s right. Always boasting about the cuteness of your child.
Kamiya: I’ll be checking up on her all the time by calling her phone.
Ono: (laughs) Like install a GPS on her phone?
Kamiya: Yes, I’ll check where she is all the time.
Ono: What a bothersome father!
Kamiya: Don’t call me bothersome!
Ono: But, you know. . .
Ono: You won’t give your daughter any freedom at all. If she’s 14 years old, of course, she would want to go to lots of places.
Kamiya: Then I’ll come with her
Ono: You’ll come with her? (laughs)
Kamiya: Papa will come with her.
Ono: (laughs) That’s terrible.
Kamiya: I’m not lying. When I become a papa, I’ll be exactly what I’m telling you now.
Ono & Kamiya: (laughs)
Kamiya: And I won’t stink!
Ono: But you won’t be able to stop smelling like an old man once you get old, you know.
Kamiya: (chuckles) An old man’s smell, huh? Like a spicy scent, right?
Ono: You’re starting to smell spicy, Kamiya-san.
Kamiya: No! Absolutely not! Please don’t say that to me.
Oh, heavens. This is hilarious. (ノ＞▽＜。)ノ It seems like Kamiya-san will be one hell of a father. Too protective, I say. And can someone validate to me if an old man’s smell is really spicy? Anyway, there’s more.
Ono: Oh, right, right. I just thought of something.
Kamiya: What is it?
Ono: What if I date your daughter?
Kamiya: Absolutely not!
Ono: Why not? Why not?!
Kamiya: Because I said so.
Ono: I will treasure her.
Kamiya: Treasure her- Huh?!! Don’t joke around! Why should I hand you my own daughter?! Not that I have a daughter, so I don’t really know but-
Ono: Give me Hiroko.
Kamiya: No way! And that name. . . Not like I’m gonna give her that name.
Ono: Please give me Hiroko.
Kamiya: No way.
Kamiya: Absolutely no way.
Ono: I will feed her properly.
Kamiya: No way, no way, no way.
Ono: I will always feed her properly and work really hard.
Kamiya: Shut up. Absolutely no way.
Ono: I will work really hard to buy us an apartment.
Kamiya: It’s no good if you don’t buy a proper big house. You’ll have to live with her father, as well.
Ono: Ohohoho! 2 generations living under the same roof. . .
Kamiya: Yes, 2 generations.
Ono: I don’t want to.
Kamiya: You don’t want to? Then no.
Ono: Tsk tsk tsk.
Kamiya: You- How dare you make that sound? I’m your senpai. . .and your father, you know?!
Ono: (laughs) You, as my senpai. . .and father. . .
Kamiya: Like I’m gonna give my daughter to someone like you.
Ono: Then I’ll ask her mother for permission.
Kamiya: There is no mother. (laughing)
Ono: So it’s all lies.
Oh, oh. My stomach hurts. This is too funny. You’re so lucky, Hiroko-chan. You don’t even exist yet, but you already have a doting father and a loving suitor.
Next up is the Sylph Soudanshitsu corner, where they introduce a manga titled something Trickers. Then they talk about it, and something about carrying huge luggage while climbing mountain summits. Seriously. Sometimes, I can’t follow where their conversation goes. Anyway, here is another rough translation of their Hiroko-chan conversation:
Kamiya: By the way, Ono-kun. If there is a high possibility of you climbing up to the top of a mountain, who would you want to be with?
Ono: With Hiroko?
Kamiya: Why Hiroko? Ah, my daughter?
Kamiya: I’ll beat you up.
Ono: Yes, with your daughter.
Kamiya: I’ll tie you up, seriously.
Oh God. (*≧艸≦)
Kamiya: Of course my daughter’s cute. . .
Ono: She’s so cute. That’s why I want to date her.
Kamiya: Don’t call her Hiroko.
Ono: So it’s not Hiroko? How about Hiroe?
Kamiya: Hiroe, huh?
Ono: Hiroe is a good name, isn’t it?
And so for some reason, Hiroko became Hiroe. Sorry, Hiroko-chan. Good for you, Hiroe-chan. Another funny part is when Kamiya-san orders OnoD to make eating sound effects. Here is a rough translation:
Kamiya: Let’s see how you do it, Ono-kun. Now eat something. Start!
Ono: (loud slurping sounds)
Kamiya: That’s so disgusting!
Ono: (gasping sounds, somehow turning into gasping sex sounds)
Gosh. I don’t know whether to laugh out loud or to cringe. I did both. Anyway, now that’s done. The show ends with the 1-Phrase Story corner where they each read a 1-phrase story sent from their listeners. I greatly enjoyed this episode. It’s one of my favourites. I hope that you enjoyed it as much as I did.
Listen to the recorded copy of this episode above, which was kindly uploaded by dgs2703. どうもありがとう。
Ja nee. See you again soon, nee? ( ´ ▽ ` )ﾉ
Dear Girl ~Stories~ in animelo mix (Japanese)
Sylph Comics (Japanese)
Kamiya Hiroshi in Aoni Production (Japanese)
Ono Daisuke in Mausu Promotion (Japanese)